"Wade! Wake up!" Maggie was saying, shaking Wade as best she could with one arm. The other woman opened her glittering brown eyes, momentarily disoriented. "Are you all right?" Maggie asked.

"Oh, god, Maggie, I’m sorry. Did I wake you?" Wade asked as she ran her fingers through her hair, her body enveloped in a chill that lingered from the nightmare.

"No, I was just leaving to go work out," Maggie said, then her eyes narrowed in worry, "But I’m worried about you Wade. This is the fourth time you’ve had that nightmare. I’d wish you’d tell me what’s bothering you."

"I’m fine, Maggie," Wade assured the other woman, "I really don’t need to talk about it, but thanks for the offer."

‘I really don’t need to talk about it’, she’d told Maggie. The irony of that statement was not lost on Wade, who was dying to tell some one her secret. The past year of her life had been a complete lie, she wasn’t afraid to admit it. But the bargain she’d made to regain her life, after one of Quinn’s insane doubles had killed her, had proved incredibly binding. Wade was convinced that if she told anyone, espeacially Quinn, she would die. And yet her silence was more painful than any death, Wade knew. That was not the only irony, she realized. In her nightmare, Quinn had left her for Maggie, as he had in every other one of her nightmares for the past year. And yet Wade could not bring herself to hate the woman she now considered a friend. Her relationship with Maggie had been anything but friendly in the begining, but since Maggie’s accident, they’d btoh learned to trust one another.

That was another thing, life had changed so much in the past few months. It seemed like only yesterday that she, Quinn, Rembrandt and Maggie had stood outside the Renanian base on Jungle World. Now they lived on Earth 119, a world that the Renanians had won back from the Kromaggs and now used as a relocation center. Wade and Maggie were helping the Renanian officals send displaced people who had been kidnapped by the Kromaggs back to their home Earths, or, if their’s had not been won back yet, they found a temporary home for them. Wade enjoyed her job helping refugees, it made her feel like she was making a difference, and she definately knew how a lot of them felt. Quinn and Remmy, who lived in the suite beside Wade and Maggie’s, were also helping out, though in a different department. At the thought of Quinn, Wade looked down at the small photo she kept on her vanity. Surrounded by the delicate silver frame was a picture of Quinn, looking rougish and dashing in his Renanian uniform. Even though Wade longed for more, she and Quinn were still just friends, though extremely close ones. The sound of her alarm going off rescued Wade from her reveree, infomring her in blarring tones that she was going to be late for work if she didn’t hurry.

---------

Hi, Jana," Wade said as she caught her breath. She smiled at her friend. Jana Steele was a tall, tan-skinned woman with ebony hair and amazing green eyes, which only served to compliment her dancers body. The two had met on Wade’s first day, and became fast friends. Like Wade, Jana had very personal reasons to help out in the war against the Kromaggs. She’d seen her twin sister die a long, torturous death at the hands of the enemy, and longed for revenge.

"You okay?" Jana asked, "You don’t look so good, bad night’s sleep?"

"Yeah, nightmares," Wade shurgged it off.

"Hey, I understand," Jana misinterpreted, laying a hand on Wade’s arm supportively.

"Jana, Wade, you guys want coffee?" Pam, one of their co-workers, interupted them.

"No thanks," Jana said.

"I could use some," Wade said appreciatively, "Thanks." The other woman nodded and headed off to get the steaming brew. Jana turned on her computer, returning her attention to Wade.

"So, what was that favor you wanted from me?" she asked.

"Oh, that," Wade said, running her hands through her hair nervously. That must be the reason for the nightmares, Wade thought. She’d been having them for the past year, but lately they’d returned each night with renewed vigor. But, as much as she hated this, Wade knew she could not afford for her secret to be discovered. "Jana, I want you to imput this information in the system, if something resembling it is not already there," Wade slipped her friend a piece of paper.

"Okay..." Jana, head of immigration and relocation records, took the paper, her green eyes skimming it’s surface and reading the words Wade knew by heart.

"What’s all this?" Jana asked, looking back at Wade.

"I can’t tell you that, Jana," Wade said sorrowfully, "I just need you to do this for me." The other woman, understanding that some things just couldn’t be shared. Wade knew she was only digging a deeper hole for herself, but she really could help it. Quinn, being his usual self, had suggested one day, when they’d been discusing how the missed life before the slide, that they begin to look for the group Wade had been seperated from back on American Empire World. Of course, Wade knew there was no such group, but Quinn did not. So now Wade had to have their deaths created so as not to arouse suspiscions when Quinn went hunting for her group.

"Look, I’ll do this as soon as I can," Jana said, interupting Wade’s train of thought, "But right now I gotta get down to the immigration post at base 27. We’ve got practcally a whole planet moving in today."

"Alright, see you for drinks tonight?" the other woman asked.

"Of course," Jana said, then sped out the door, almost knocking Pam and her coffee down.

"Here you go, Wade," Pam said as she set the cup down.

"Thanks," Wade muttered absently. As soon as Pam was out of ear shot, Wade whispered, more to herself than anyone else, "Forgive me, Quinn." Then she buckled down to get to work, there were things to be done.

------

The other passengers on the train looked much as she did, battered, bruised, bone thin and shaking, their wide eyes taking in everything around them with a kind of habitual paranioa. Wade looked down at the silver bracelet encircling her wrist. It identified her as Wade Mallory of Earth 319. The idea of inter-dimensional travel was still new to Wade, but after being kidnaped by Kromaggs, nothing could surprise her anymore. A sob caught in her throat when she through of her husband, Quinn. She didn’t even know if he was still alive. The Renanian officer assigned to her group informed her that someone at Central Imigration might be able to inform her if her husband had been ‘liberated’ yet, but not to get her hopes up. Closing her eyes to fight back the tears that sprang from her soul, the young woman thought of times past. Back when she and Quinn had just been married, only five months before this whole mess began. He’d been a young physics professor, and she a literature student. They’d met in passing in the hallway, and she remembered thinking what nice blue eyes he had. Later, when her friend Peggy introduced them, it had been pure chemistry. Now Wade longed for the little condo they’d shared, and the simple domestic tasks she’d once resented. Funny how war made you long for the dull, the ordinary and mundane. Now, here she was, on an Earth in some paralell dimension, all alone, save for her baby girl, and not even sure of the fate of her husband.

"Oh, Quinn," she whispered as the train lurched to a stop, "Please be alright."

The immagrants formed a line moving out into the main station, then spilt up into several lines so their information could be processed. Wade absently scanned the other lines, searching for a familiar face, Quinn’s, her parents, her sister, her little brother. But only deep set, dark and fearful eyes met her gaze, souless and lost. Almost hollow, Wade thought grimly, like jack-o-lanterns. As the line progressed, Chelsea began to fuss, and Wade hurried to soothe her. At last she stood face to face with another woman, the woman who might have some information on her Quinn.

"Name?" the woman asked. Wade peered closer to see that her name-plate read ‘Jana Steele’. Taking a breath, Wade replied,

"Wade Welles Mallory of Earth 319."

"And the child?" Jana asked, eyes kind. Absently, Wade wondered if she knew her double.

"Chelsea Ann Mallory," Wade replied, shifting the little bundle of humanity that was her daughter. Jana frowned as she clicked her mouse, the light from her laptop screen reflecting on her face.

"Alright, you’re to board train 16, it will take you to base 23. From there you and your daughter will be sent home." Jana informed her, producing a print out with the same information.

"What about my husband, my family?" Wade asked, desperate for news. Jana looked up, her eyes filled with sympathy.

"Names please?"

"Quinn Mallory, Virginia Welles, Christopher Welles, Kelly Welles Mistz and Ronnie Welles," Wade rattled off by heart. Jana entered the names in the computer, drumming her delicate tanned fingers on the desk as she waited.

"Alright," Jana said at last, "Virgina, your mother, I presume, has already been sent back to your Earth. Kelly has not yet been located, Ronnie is in intensive care on Earth 516, and will be sent back to your mother as soon as he’s well. And... oh, I’m sorry. Your father has been registered as dead-on-retrievely. Bastard ‘Maggs got to him before we could," Jana shock her head. Wade felt tears burn her eyes and nodded mutely. Had her mother heard?

"What about my husband, Quinn?" Wade asked again. Jana’s flawless brow ceased once more as she clicked through the files. She shook her head as if upset at the organization, then brightened, letting out an exclaimation of ‘Ahha!’.

"I found records of him being in our mid-critical hospital over in base 13, but after that, there’s nothing. It doesn’t say wether he was discharged or not. That’s funny, it doesn’t say he’s deceased, there’s that at least. But it doesn’t say where he is either. Grr... and the Renanians claim to be organized!" Again Jana frowned, "I’m sorry," she looked up at Wade, "That’s all I can tell you."

"Thanks anyway," Wade tried to remember how to smile, to show her appreciation to woman who’d been so kind.

"You’d better hurry," Jana told her, "Your train leaves soon. Your double will meet you at the station."

-------

"Yes, Major?" Quinn said with a disguised tone of long suffering. It seemed he’d never escape the clutches of ‘computer boy’. Who knew the old fart was a brilliant millitary genius?

"Your double will be arriving at base 23, you are to go there and meet him," the Major annouced authoriatively.

-----

"That was weird," she remarked to herself, still feeling edgy. A single tone sounded in the massive hall, annoucing that another train had arrived. Wade checked her information. Yup, this was the train that carried her double. The immagrants formed a line going out, and Wade searched for her own face in the crowd. No sooner had she spotted her double, than the young, malnurished woman gave out a small cry and ran towards someone on the other end of the platform. It was Quinn’s double. The two were laughing and crying all at one, with Quinn’s double trying to hold Wade’s and their baby all at the same time. Wade felt a wave of green jealousy rush through her as she watched them kiss briefly. But she knew it was wrong. After all, at least one Wade out there was happy and reunited with her Quinn. Even if Quinn did love her, Wade was smart enough to realize that they would forever be seperated by her deception... they could never truely be one. At that moment, Wade glanced up to see that Quinn had also entered the station, and was baring witness to the lovely scene. Their eyes met over the heads of their doubles, and Wade felt a pleasent little warmth spread up her spine. Then she tore her eyes away from his blue ones and looked back at the happy couple. They were already headed towards the train that would take them to the vortex-generator and their home. Obviously, by they way both were talking animatedly, their arms linked, They obviously didn’t need much help.

Wade was about to leave when she felt that same chill fall over her again. This time she looked up and found the source of the disturbance. Her heart caught in her throat, her lungs desperate for air as her eyes met with that of another Quinn she knew only too well. She could still remember the day he’d walked into Dopplers, so poised and assured... almost like another person. She hadn’t known about sliding then, and mistook him for her Quinn. She’d been dumbfounded when he told off Hurley.... then delighted, entranced and totally head-over-heals when he kissed her with such intensity. Then... nearly three years later, they’d met again. With horrifying clarity, Wade remembered every moment of that night... the last night of her life. Her last few hours had been with him, and she remembered each and every word that was said. She shifted through the events like grains of sand.... it was the man that had killed her! She felt herself grow cold as he neared, taking her by the arm and pulling her aside. Threat was not present in his eyes as he said in a breathless, hushed whisper;

"It’s you!" How funny that they both recognized each other with such clarity, "How... you’re dead!" he exclaimed. Knowning that she was forbidden to tell anyone of her secret, even this, the Quinn that had killed her- whatever his reasoning might have been, Wade merely replied mysteriously;

"There are more things wrought through prayer than this- or any other- world dreams of," she misquoted Tennyson. After all, she hadn’t taken English Lit for nothing. For a moment Quinn’s eyes were unreadable as he studdied her with an expressionless face. Then, a smile slowly formed on his face.

"Ah, my lady knows her classics," he said, then bent lower, whispering something in her ear. Anyone watching would have thought them to be lovers, the way he bent towards her so intimately. "Could you ever forgive me for what I did?" She stared up at him blankly, her brown eyes filled with something approuching loathing.

"You," she spoke in a sad tone, "Have ruined my one chance at happiness. For that, I can never forgive." He looked sorrowful, but replied;

"Be that as it may, but if I had not done what I did, would you even be with your Quinn?" he guessed so accurately, that Wade wondered at his perception. Of course, she had no idea how to answer his question, but as it turned out, fate did not require her to do so. For Quinn’s double gave her a somewhat mocking bow and kissed her hand, then, without a word, turned away and headed for his train, without ever looking back. Wade could only stare after him, dumbfounded.

Quinn Mallory watched his double walk away from Wade with more than a little curiousity. He’d been about to go to her, after their doubles left, when another double had sauntered up and pulled her aside. Her reaction to him, the look of utter fear in her eyes, worried Quinn somewhat. Still, he did not intrude as the two leaned intimately close to share some secret Quinn didn’t even want to try and guess. Then, as quickly as he had come, his double stalked off. Could that have been Wade’s Quinn? But the computer records he’d hunted down said that her Quinn was dead. In a way, Quinn admitted to himself, he’d been glad her Quinn was dead. After all, had they found him to be alive, she would have left with him by now. Instead, to spare her the pain, Quinn kept the information on her Quinn’s death a secret, decided that what she didn’t know could not hurt her. Wade turned and saw him, hurrying over. Quinn pushed all thoughts of strange doubles and secrets aside, deciding to ask Wade to lunch.

-------

"You guys!" Wade said, blushing as Jana and Maggie began to sing happy birthday, while Quinn brought out a cake and set it before her, "You shouldn’t have!" she protested.

"Nonsense, sweetheart," Remmy said as he gave her a hug, "Your birthday’s important, and there hasn’t been much time to celebrate these last few years. Now make a wish, sweetheart!" Wade laughed and closed her eyes as she gently blew out the flames.

"Yeah!" Jana cried out melodramatically. Much to Wade’s surprise, she felt Quinn’s arms encircle her waist as he gave her a hug from behind.

"What was your wish?" he asked slyly.

"Now, if I told you that, it wouldn’t come true," Wade said as she turned several shades of red. Truth be told, she’d wished for Quinn’s love, something she’d been wishing for since before the slide. Lord, that seemed ages ago. A lifetime, perhaps. It did seem like that, Wade though absently as Maggie and Remmy began to cut the cake, it was almost as if she had been a whole nother person back then, a innocent young woman who knew nothing of the evils that lurked all around her, laying in wait to change her world.

"Wade? You still in there?" Quinn asked as he waved a hand before her eyes.

"Oh, sorry, just spaced out for a little while," Wade apologized sheepishly. As she looked into the clear blue eyes of the man she loved, she realized it had all been worth it, everything, because she was here now, surrounded by friends and the one man who ment more to her than life itself. The pain of her enforced silence deminished to a background throbing as the group dug in, laughing and talking as they enjoyed the cake. Eventually, Jana turned on some music and asked Remmy to dance. Maggie and Wade laughed as he bowed in acceptance. Wade smiled as she watched the Cry’n Man and her new friend moved together on the dance floor. She knew Jana was gone on Remmy, and now, seeing them together, and judging from the look in Rembrandt’s eyes, the game had been given away.

"May I have this dance, m’lady?" a deep, soothing voice asked, breaking into Wade’s contented reveree. She looked up to see Quinn standing above her, hand out stretched, offering.

"Of, course, kind sir," Wade said with a mock curtsie, accepting his hand as he lead her out onto the floor.

Quinn looked into Wade’s deep brown eyes, wondering if, perhaps, there was something mysterious and meaningful written behind them. His heart swelled with love for her, not as Wade’s double, but for *her*. For the angel that had come so unnexpectedly into his life. He saw himself a year ago, when he’d first met Wade. He saw a battered shell of a man, who’s soul withered a little more each day as the voices in his head taunted him at night. Wade, with her light, and her love of living, had come in and pierced the darkness surrounding him. She’d shown him how to live, to love, again. For that he was eternally grateful. And yet... thoughts of his Wade filtered into his mind. His Wade, when he saw her for the first time, sitting in a folding chair in the workroom of Dopplers, arms folded, looking up at him as he entered. His Wade laughing as she won their bet at the hockey game. Her face when she saw the vortex for the first time. The tears in her eyes when she realized they might never get home. The feel of her in his arms as he held her.... Quinn shook his head. Was it possible to love two women at the same time. Suddenly, he realized that another song had come on, a slower one. Wade smiled up at him as they changed rhythm, moving to the slower beat.

"Thank you so much, Quinn, for this. I think this has been the best birthday present," Wade said shyly.

"Uh... you’re welcome," Quinn stuttered, still off balance from the hug. He hadn’t expected it. Then Wade did something even more unexpected. She gave him a quick kiss.

"Hey," Maggie said as Quinn returned to his seat. She studdied his face for a moment before asking, "What’s the matter Quinn?"

"I...." Quinn looked at the other woman. She’d changed so much in the last year. She was more understanding, less millitant, and very close with Wade. "I love her." Maggie made a little laughing noise.

"Well, I could have told you that!" she said.

"Really?" he asked.

"Of course. Everyone can see how much in love you two are. It’s about time you did something about it."

"But... what about... Wade?" he asked softly. Maggie looked a little perplexed for a moment, then realized what he was saying.

"Quinn, Wade would understand. She loved you with all her heart, anyone could see that, and the last thing she would want would be to keep you from happiness. I know that I gave her a hard time, but the truth is, I was jealous. In her I saw everything I knew I could never achieve. She had a serenity... a calm no one could touch. And she DID love you. Now you have to let her go, let her rest. You have another chance at happiness, Quinn," Maggie said softly, laying her hand on his in a friendly gesture, "Don’t let it slip away."

--------

"I loved you," Quinn told her, "I still love you, but it’s different now. I’ll always love you, but I love her too. You understand, don’t you? I want you to have peace. I want me to have peace too. Please forgive me?" The image, the moment captured in time, seemed so precious, but now Quinn knew he had to let it go.

He reached into the nightstand, bringing out a small leather case. Inside there was a small, golden ring, carved into two small hands, holding what seemed to be an ordinary diamond. But Quinn knew it was more. He’d bought it on the last run the Renanian soldiers had been on. They’d stopped off on a world on their way back, where the men had been allowed to go into the city for a little while. It was then he’d seen it, glittering in the shop window. Something about it seemed to scream ‘Wade!’ to him. The jeweler had informed him that it was a very special kind of jewel. Though it was plain white in the case, once placed on a womans finger, it would glow with a color. The mineral in the gem reacted with the aura of the person, so that it never looked the same. It the perfect gift for his unique Wade, Quinn knew, but he’d never had the courage to give it to her. Now it seemed, he had the perfect reason to.

-------

"You’ll see when you get there!" Maggie replied, pulling her along. At last, they reached a door. Maggie stopped, then looked at Wade with a sly smile, "From here on, you’re on your own."

"On my own!?" Wade asked, "What’s going on!"

"Shh!" Maggie winked, "It’s a secret!" Then she gave the other woman a one-armed hug and scampered off.

Wade looked a the door for a minute before opening it. Inside, the room was splendid, decorated as if for a king and queen. This must be where the officals meet, Wade thought absently. Suddenly, she heard something crush beneath her foot. Looking down, Wade realized it was a rose. In fact, there was a trail of them. Curious, Wade followed them, through the room and up a flight of steps. At the top, the trail stopped urruptly before the door. Even more intregied, Wade opened the door to a sight she would remember for the rest of her life. Quinn stood inside, a dozen red roses in his arms. Behind him was the first window Wade had seen on the base. Through it, she could see the sun setting beyond the horizon, the metalic buildings that made up the Renanian network gleaming in the dying light.

"Oh, Quinn!" she breathed, feeling slightly dizzy. Forcing her legs to work, Wade moved forward, stopping just in front of him. She thought she saw tears in his eyes as he knelt before her, offering her the flower.

"Wade Welles," Quinn said once he found his voice, "I have a confesson to make," seemingly out of thin air, he produced a small, black velvet box, "I’m in love with you. I’m in love with your laugh, your love of life, I’m in love with every little thing about you and I would be honored if you would consider me as something more than a friend. Maybe even... marry me someday??" A sob of happiness escaped Wade lips as he placed the beautiful ring on her finger. A brilliant, blue glow enveloped the gem as it came in contact with her skin, and Wade shivered.

"Oh, Quinn! I’ve loved you since... forever!" Wade cried out as he stood. She wrapped her arms around him as he leaned down for a kiss. As the two soul-mates kissed, the roses dropped to floor. And somewhere in the back of Wade’s mind, a certain old friends words echoed with frightening clarity.

*REMEMBER, YOU MUSTN’T TELL HIM, EVER!!!!*