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TORCH CARRYING
Reckoning Day
by Meredith Bronwen Mallory
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Disclaimer: Sliders is not mine. Big surprise. This story was written in good fun, please don't sue. The lyrics to "Sweet Madame Blue" are by STYX.
Personal Disclaimer: I am a hopeless romantic, though sometimes not a very nice one (as this story will testify). You. Have. Been. Warned.
RECAP: Ladies and Gentlemen, this is the second story in my Torch Carrying Series, the first one being Embrace of Ashes. If you havent read that one, then you really cant read this one. Anyway, quick recap. Wade Welles and her new friend Dorian Richards escaped from Kromagg breeding camp before Wade could be impregnated. Unfortunately, Dorian wasnt so lucky. The two landed on a world without civilization, and Dorian went into labor with her humagg child. The labor was difficult, and eventually Dorian just gave up, leaving Wade to travel alone. Four worlds later, Wade encountered Quinn's double (from the Pilot), the one that kissed her. The two got together and talked. Eventually, Quinns double offered her a toast. In reality, he'd poisoned the drink. Wade died, but before she did, Quinns double explained that he did it for her own good. In the afterlife, Wade was greeted by Dorian, who explained that it really wasnt her time. As a result, Wade was given a chance to return to her Quinn, but not without a catch. She mustnt tell him she is his Wade, and she has to stop him from committing suicide.
Now, on with Reckoning Day...
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PROLOGUE
{
Shes dead, shes dead, shes dead} the chant went on in Quinn's mind. He lay awake, his soul tortured by guilt. The others were asleep, oblivious to his pain, and it was now, in the darkness, that the little voices found their way to the fore of his mind and repeated over and over the testament to his guilt. Hed left her alone, abandoned his beautiful, shinning Wade.He'd left her to the Kromaggs. Just the thought of them defiling Wades body was enough to make him ill.
Some part of him hoped desperately that she was alive, somewhere in the vast multiverse... maybe she was thinking about him right now. {She's dead, she's dead} the voices reminded him.
"No," Quinn whispered, reaching for a pillow and clutching it to his chest, "Shes not dead." He kept repeating it, over and over... he didn't even realize hed fallen asleep.
There was movement on the end of the bed, and he sat up, only to find himself looking into the bottomless brown eyes of Wade.
"Wade," he reached for her, she moved away. Now she stood in the doorway, her form outlined in bright light. She was like an angel. With a single finger she beckoned him, disappearing in a flurry of red. Rising from the bed he followed her. Now he stood in the bathroom, surrounded by steam. The shower stood before him, the door closed, and he slowly reached out and opened it. Inside, laying on the floor, was the crumpled body of Wade Welles, red and blistered under the scalding water. And there on the shower wall, written in blood, were the words that surmised Quinns damnation. [YOUR FAULT].
Some one was screaming.... Quinn gradually realized those screams were his own.
"Q-ball!" Someone, Remmy, was shaking him, "Hey, man, calm down!"
"What the hell is going on?" Maggie asked. Quinn opened his eyes, unaware that he was still screaming. A hand clamped over his mouth.
"Quinn! Come on, its us!" Colin said, shaking him. Quinn nodded, reality had finally penetrated Colin let him go, and Quinn slumped back against the head board.
"Man, are you okay?" Remmy asked.
"Fine..." Quinn panted. The others exchanged glances, they knew that statement was the farthest from the truth. Rembrandt turned away, holding back his own tears, and looked to Maggie, who stood straight-faced in the threshold of the room. His eyes met her, and he saw with in the woman's a measure of jealousy.
Quinn had awakened screaming Wade's name.
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CHAPTER ONE
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Wade found herself crushed in a tumble of people. The familiar sound of a vortex closing was heard, and Wade groaned as she tried to free herself. As she opened her eyes, she found herself looking into the clear blue eyes of Quinn Mallory. HER Quinn Mallory. He looked at her, and she looked at him.
"Wade?"
"Quinn?" she couldnt help herself, tears formed in her eyes and she was forced to close them. Quinn reached out and pulled her to him.
"Hey, Q-ball..." she heard Remmy trail off, "Wade?"
"Oh, my gosh I can't believe I found..."
Wade suddenly felt dizzy, like she was dying all over again.
*REMEMBER,* Dorians voice whispered harshly in her ear, *YOU MUSTNT TELL THEM*
"Wade, is it really you?" Quinn asked. As much as she didn't want to, Wade pushed him away.
"I'm... sorry," she stammered, "You have the wrong Wade," she turned away, unsure of what to do.
"Wait, sweetheart," Wade turned back, at the sound of Remmy's pet name for her. She knew instantly that on some level she'd just given herself away, but strangely she wasn't dying.
"What's going on?" the stranger in the group asked. Wade looked at him. He bore some resemblance to Quinn, but not much.
"Wade," Maggie sounded surprised when she finally realized who was standing there.
"Uh, yeah. Look, I'm sorry, I mistook you for my group,"" Wade explained, "We got separated here about three months ago and, well, I guess I was kind of hoping they'd come back for me."
"You're a slider?" Quinn asked.
"*Was* a slider," Wade corrected him. She kept her hands rigidly at her sides, such was her desire to touch him, to be sure he was real, "They had to slide without me... Remmy, my Quinn and Meg," she changed the form of Maggie's name for safety, afraid that her story was to close to the truth.
"Meg?" Maggie asked.
Wade decided it would be best to play doubt. She said, "Yes, your double."
"So you've been stuck here for three months?" Quinn asked.
"Yeah, I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions like that... I've been kind of lonely." At least that was the truth.
"Yeah, I can understand that," Quinn said. She looked at him sharply. Could it be that he missed her? Surely not, he had Maggie.
Remmy looked at the double before him and sighed. She could be Wade, and he wished she was. He missed Wade so much, and he knew Quinn did too. Before he could stop himself, the idea was forming in his mind.
"Hey, Q-ball," he addressed Quinn, "Can I talk to you for a sec?" Quinn nodded, and Remmy pulled him aside, glancing back at Wades double.
"What is it?" Quinn asked.
"Look, Q-ball, why don't we take her with us, I mean, she's all alone here," Remmy suggested.
"Remmy, I can't..."
"Can't what? Quinn, it's Wade!" Remmy said.
"Not MY Wade," Quinn said bitterly.
"But we still can't leave her here," Rembrandt argued. Quinn glanced back at Wade's double.
"No, I guess not."
Wade looked at the stranger and Maggie, then to Quinn and Rembrandt. What were they talking about? Rembrandt's face was the one she could see, for Quinn's back was to her, and she wondered what was going on. Finally they seemed to decide on something.
"Hey, sweetheart," Remmy said, "If you want to slide with us when we leave..." Could he really be asking her this? She'd thought it would be harder, to get them to trust her. Was it really this easy?
*My, but the hardest part is yet to come.* Dorians voice warned.
"Could I really. I mean, I wouldn't want to cause any trouble..." Wade began. It was too good to be true... her friends were accepting her back again, and they didnt even know it was HER!!!
"No, no trouble at all," Maggie said. There was an edge to the other woman's voice, and she shot a dirty look at Quinn. Wade knew then that even now Maggie would not accept her.
"Thanks," she tried on a smile.
"Well then," Remmy went on, "You know me and Quinn, this is Maggie and Colin," he gestured to the others.
"Nice to meet you," Wade extended her hand to Colin, who shook it with a shocked expression on his face.
"THE Wade...?" he asked. She shook her head in denial and the young man smiled apologecticly. Wade turned to Maggie with a smile, which abruptly died when she saw the murderous look the other woman was giving her. Maggie swept past her, heading off towards the exit of the park, and Wade looked back and Remmy and Quinn, who shrugged.
"Nice to meet you too," Wade muttered, and then added under her breath, "again."
"Come on, girl," Remmy said, offering her his arm, "Let's find the Chandler."
"Sure," Wade smiled, assuming the Chandler was a hotel. She looked back at Quinn, and what she saw in his eyes startled her. She saw resentment.
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CHAPTER TWO
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There was screaming. Wade registered it distantly through the veil of sleep. The screaming became louder, and Wade jerked up in bed. Was she screaming? She put her hand to her mouth. No. Who then... Quinn. She looked over at Maggie, who, in the next bed, had merely buried her head under her pillow in a pitiful attempt to ignore the screams. Was it always like this? Wade wondered. She threw on her robe and hurried in the adjoining room.
Remmy and Colin's beds were empty, they were both working the night shift. On the far side of the room, Quinn lay thrashing, as if against invisible demonic hands that held him down.
"WADE!!!" he screamed. Pulled by an invisible leash, Wade moved quickly towards him.
"Quinn," she grabbed hold of his shoulders and shook him, "Quinn! Wake up! It was only a nightmare!"
"No! Please, dont..." he opened his eyes, and Wade found herself looking into the depths of a tortured soul.
Quinn looked at Wade. She was alive! That had all been a nightmare... everything. She was still here, she hadn't been kidnapped by the Kromaggs, she was fine! He pulled her to him, holding her tight, afraid that if he let her go she would vanish into mist... a pleasant, fading dream. She moved her hands in his hair, soothing him like a child.
"Shh.." she said, her voice soft, "It's all right."
But it wasn't all right, Quinn soon realized, as the events of the past day came flooding back to him. She had been left behind, this Wade, by *her* group, three months before. Remmy had offered to let her join, and she'd accepted. This Wade was not HIS Wade. She was a double, an imposter, a poor subsitute. To love her, to seek comfort in her would be betraying his own Wade. He wouldn't do that- he could not defile her memory.
"No! You're not my Wade," he pushed her roughly away, and she toppled over, falling off the bed and hitting the night-stand on her way down. He heard her cry out in pain, heard her whimper for a moment as she lay there on the moonlit carpet, "I'm sorry," he managed. She looked up at him, and he saw tears in her eyes.
"It's all right," she said forgivingly, "It's all right," they sat there, looking at each other for the longest time. A moment or an eternity, neither could gage, but they were like two wild animals, starring at each other from across a clearing, trying to foresee a threat.
Wade raised her hand to her forehead, rubbing the spot where her head had connected with the nightstand. Now she knew where her challenge lay, and she was both hurt and touched by it. Quinn was loyal to her, and because he believed her only to be a double, he wanted nothing to do with her. But her heart despaired, for here she was, his Wade, and he could not accept her.
How was she supposed to save him if he didn't trust her? she wondered.
Sometimes life was just way too hard.
"I hope you get some rest," she offered as she stood, dusting off her terry-cloth robe and moving away from his bed.
"Um... thanks," Quinn looked apologetic, but Wade now knew where she stood with him. She nodded and walked away towards her room, seeking her own rest.
-----
"Hey, girl," Remmy said as Wade took a seat at the kitchen table in the wee hours of the morning, "What are you doing up so early?"
"Couldn't sleep. My head's throbbing," Wade told him. That much was true.
She hoped he couldnt see the blue bruise that was already forming on her forehead. She'd done her best to cover it with her hair, but she knew that sooner or later it was going to show. Remmy nodded sympatheticly.
"Coffee?" he asked, "To go with Advil, of course." She smiled at him, she'd missed him. At least he treated her like Wade, even the real Wade. It was going to be very hard to keep up this act, but Wade reminded herself that it was to save Quinn.
"Sure," she told him, sitting down and looking out at the gleaming city lights. Glancing at her reflection the glass, Wade saw the bruise on her forehead and knew this was a test of not only her soul and her loyalty, but also her love.
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CHAPTER THREE
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Ironically, it was Maggie who first noticed the bruise. She, Wade and Quinn had been walking towards their prospective employment in the first chilly hours of the morning, rubbing their hands together to keep warm.
"What happened to you?" Maggie asked, indicating the bruise.
"Oh," Wade said, caught unawares. She supposed she'd need to think up a good excuse, people were probably going to ask about it all day, "I... tripped."
It was lame and Maggie knew it.
"I see," she smirked, risking a glance at Quinn. Wade's eyes followed hers, and she found Quinn starring at her.
"Can I have a word with you?" he asked of her, slowing down and letting Maggie get ahead. When the other woman was far enough away, he asked, "Is that my fault?" He gestured towards the bruise.
"Don't worry about it," Wade said, "It was an accident." Quinn visibly blanched.
"I'm really sorry," he said, putting a hand on her shoulder, "I didn't mean to be so rough. And if I hurt you feelings last night, I'm sorry about that too. I don't suppose Remmy told you what happened to our Wade?"
"No," Wade said. Of course, she really did know since it had happened to her, but she wanted his take on it.
"Well, about a year ago, she was kidnapped by the Kromaggs. You know them, don't you?"
"Yeah, we had a couple of close calls with them," she replied slowly. He merely nodded, and took a deep breath before continuing.
"I was an idiot, I promised to protect her and I could even do that... I failed her. We haven't seen her since. Some one, Christina was her name, told us that she was dead. I don't know what to believe. You'll forgive me if it's had to be around you?" His eyes pleaded for understanding. Never more than then had Wade wanted to tell him who she really was. It wasn't fair. He needed her forgiveness, he needed her to tell him he had done no wrong. But as she opened her mouth to tell him, it was as if a swift, steel hand had clamped over her mouth. Sighing inwardly, Wade gave in.
"I'm sure she doesn't blame you," Wade said, "And I understand perfectly. You look so much like Quinn sometimes that it hurts. We were best buds."
"Friends then?" he offered his hand.
"Friends," she smiled, shaking his hand.
"Hey guys!" Maggie yelled. She stood at the top of the hill, hands on her hips as if to say 'I really dont have time for this.'
"Coming!" Quinn shouted, then turned to Wade, "Come on," he said, "Commanders orders." Wade was still chuckling when they caught up with Maggie.
------
Later that evening, Wade flopped down on her bed and opened her brand new journal. She'd bought it that day after work, figuring that it was the only safe place to pour out her emotions. Opening to the first page, she wrote;
[ Wades journal.] then skipped a page before writing her entry.
***********
August 15th.
Quinn apologized to me today, but I still feel like hes mad at me. If only I could tell him, I know it would all be all right. But I can't, I think I've figured that out by now. Quinn and I got jobs at Computer Hell today.
Would you believe Hurley is our boss again? Some things are universal. It's hard, though, it was so like it used to be back home, I almost said something about it. I really need to watch myself. Quinn loosened up once we decided we would only be friends. (That, too, is universal, it would seem)
He even invited me for lunch on break. Maybe this won't be so hard after all. I find myself wishing the Professor were here. I mean, I just really need some one to talk to. But, I'm sure if he was here, I wouldn't be able to tell him anyway. I guess I just have to trust that the bound I used to share with Quinn is still there... I hope.
THE Wade.
***********
August 16th.
Quinn had that nightmare again last night. He won't tell me what it's about, he doesn't even want to talk about it. All I know is that he wakes up screaming for me. It must be pretty bad, and I have a feeling it has to do with the fact he feels guilty for my death. I wish he would talk to me.
Remmy and the others have learned to ignore it, except for Colin.
Speaking of Colin, I think he's an okay guy. I mean, I really haven't talked to him much, what with him and Remmy working night-shift at that Ford plant, but what I have seen, I've liked. Apparently he's Quinn's brother from another dimension, but they were born from the same parents, or something like that. Quinn explained it too me, but after a while it gave me a head ache. I think it's a Clark Kent- Kal El type thing. Anyway, Colin was raised on some Amish world. The way he looks at the simplest things (like computers, answering machines, pinball machines, and spaghetti (dont ask, I think the waitress thought he was nuts, or something) is sometimes kind of shocking. I mean, they're the type of things I've taken for granted all my life.
Anyway, this is my third day here. Only two more days until Quinn is supposed to commit suicide. I hope I can stop him.... I KNOW I can stop him.
I just don't know what I would do if I were to loose him a second time. I still love him, I think I always will. (That, is most definitely universal.)
Wade.
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CHAPTER FOUR
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The darkness outside matched her own soul, Wade realized as she rolled over for the third time that night and sighed. She felt terribly guilty. She knew it was silly, but she felt terrible for deceiving Quinn and the others, they were her friends. She knew in her heart that there really wasn't anything she could do about it, as Dorian said, but that didnt make it any easier.
Realizing there was no way she would get any sleep, Wade pulled on her robe and went to the window. Gazing out at the lights of San Francisco, she realized that this world looked a lot like her own... save the face that Mexico and Canada were part of the American Empire. How strange sliding is, Wade thought, the simplest event in history can become the biggest deal....
She wondered, quite suddenly, what would happen to her once she'd stopped Quinn. Would she fade away again? Would she loose him again. Her cheek rested against the cold window pane of the sliding glass door, and she raised her hand to clutch the curtains. (Please, whoever's in charge up there, please let me stay with Quinn...)
------
"You coming, Wade?" Quinn asked as he entered the back room of Dopplers.
Maggie came in behind him, resting her tall, attractive frame against the threshold in an expression of the ultimate boredom Wade ignored the other woman and turned back to Quinn.
"Sorry, I can't, the slave driver ordered me to stay late and help him shelve some stuff," Wade referred to Hurley in a hushed tone, rolling her eyes. Quinn nodded in understanding.
"Oh, that's too bad," Maggie pretended disappointment, coming to lean against Quinn, "Quinn and I were going to go get coffee. Too bad you can't join us.."
(Yeah, right) Wade thought ruefully at the ever-transparent military brat.
"Well, I hope you enjoy yourselves," she replied sweetly. She'd gone out of her way not to fight with Maggie, and she could tell it was beginning to annoy the other woman. That filled Wade with some small pleasure.
"Sure you cant come?" Quinn asked, and Wade smiled at him, shaking her head.
"Well, see you," he replied slowly, turning to leave.
"Yeah, see you," Wade said as she watched them go. She stood that way for a long time after they were gone, until Hurleys yell interrupted her train of thought and she moved to help her boss shelve the mechandise.
-----
"Hey, Quinn, you there?" Maggie asked, obviously peeved. Quinn looked up from his coffee, momentarily dazed. Maggie sat there, leaning towards him across the small table.
"Huh?" was his witty reply.
"I asked if you wanted to go to the movies with me tomorrow?" Maggie asked, her brown eyes saying 'come on, you know you want to.' But Quinn didn't want to. That was the problem. Where had his mind been? he wondered as he went back to starring into his coffee, much to Maggie's annoyance. Wade, he realized. He'd been thinking about the Wade he left at the store, the Wade who'd stayed up late nights to talk with him when he couldn't sleep, the Wade who always went out with him during break so they could talk. He couldn't deny, he considered her a friend, considered her almost as close as he used to be with his Wade. He still thought of his Wade that way, possessively.
"You know what, Maggie," he said, looking up at her, wishing it was Wade sitting across from him, "I'm just really not in the mood for a movie." She looked crestfallen, but made no comment. In fact, now that Quinn thought about it, it was just about time for Wade to get off work. Maybe he'd swing by and walk her back to the hotel. The more he thought about it, the more he liked the idea. Soon he was walking towards Doppler's, hands in his coat pockets, having parted with Maggie. He didn't even realize he was whistling as he walked.
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Wade stuffed her hands in the pockets of her coats, realizing just how cold it was when her breath appeared before her. It was sure cold in this San Francisco. The wind picked up, as if trying to deter the small woman who traveled wearily towards the Dominion at ten PM.
"And who have we here?" a man asked as he withdrew from the alley shadows, stepping directly in Wade's path. She looked at him with a cold, detached eye. He was grimy, looking as if he had just come from a bar. That thought was compounded by the fact she could smell the alcohol in his breath as it billowed in front of her in the cold. She hated the types that thought they were Gods gift to every woman.
"Excuse me," Wade said, trying to push past him. She didn't exactly like the thought she was alone on a dark street with a drunk man. The man caught her arm as she tried to pass.
"Oh, I don't think so girlie," another voice said. There were TWO men, Wade realized as the thought sunk to the pit in her stomach and settled uncomfortably there.
"Let me go, you bastard," she seethed at the first stranger.
"Ooo, Charlie, we got a live one here," he said with a laugh. Wade now struggled in earnest against him, letting out a shrill scream that echoed off the emptiness of her surroundings, a stark reminder that she was alone.
"LET ME GO!" she screamed as he slammed her up against the alley wall. She kicked and screamed, taking to get at him anywhere she could. Charlie came over and helped him hold her down. One man, Wade probably could have handled, but two were too strong for her. Her mind became frozen by fear as one began to unzip her coat. In that hazy state that was the deepest terror in any womans darkest nightmare, Wade called out to the only person she could think of to save her...
"QUINNNNN!!!"
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"QUINNNNN!" the shrill cry echoed from every direction, startling the man who had walked slowly towards Dopplers.
"Wade?!" he called out. There came no reply, only the sound of sobbing, "Hold on, Wade! I'm coming!" he cried out as he broke into a run. Following the sound of the sobbing, he rounded the corner in time to see the two men that had Wade's small body pinned to the wall. She was withering, sobbing and crying all at once.
Quinn didn't think, his instincts took over and he hauled one of the men off her. The man, taken by surprise, fell to the ground, where Quinn kicked him sharply in a very painful spot, "You get off of her!" he yelled, punctuating that thought with another kick. The other man came up and punched Quinn in the stomach, and was repaid with several punches. The man managed to punch Quinn's nose, which promptly started bleeding in response. Quinn punched the side of the man's face, and the blow forced the man backwards. He fell backwards against the wall, his head cracking painfully on the brick. Quinn stepped back, breathing hard. He looked at Wade, who sat quietly on the ground, oblivious. Quinn stooped down next to her and took her into his arms. That seemed to bring her back to reality, and she slumped against him in relief.
"Oh, Quinn... oh, my god, oh..." she breathed, burying her face in his coat.
She began to cry again, the sobs racking her small frame. She cried as she did all other things, with a complete absorption and single mindedness. She threw herself into it as she did all else.
"Shh.." he soothed her, his hands smoothing her hair, "It's all right, nothing happened."
"But it could have," she sobbed against him.
"Come on, we'd better get out of here," he told her, slipping her arm around his shoulder to help her walk. He knew her body was going into shock, and didn't want her to fall.
------
"Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?" Wade asked from the bathroom as she threw on her robe and hurried out into the bedroom she shared with Maggie.
"Of course," Quinn smiled as he helped her into bed. He looked around the room, his eyes resting on Maggie's empty bed, "I can't imagine where Maggie got off to."
(I can.) Wade thought, but wisely kept it to herself. She snuggled into the covers, trying to force her mind from what had almost happened. Quinn must have noticed it in her eyes, for he reached out and took her hand in his.
"Hey, it's okay," he said, "it's not your fault." She smiled at him, then closed her eyes.
"I'm sorry, Quinn," she said, "I was being stupid."
"You're not stupid, angel," Quinn said. Wade smiled, she knew she was asleep. Quinn never called her angel.
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CHAPTER FIVE
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They wouldn't shut up. Quinn lay in bed, trying to get some sleep, but the voices that taunted him every night refused to shut up. If anything they were louder than ever before. It was early morning, but everyone else was gone. Maggie, Remmy and Colin had gone to the movies since none of them had work (some type of government holiday), and Wade had run off by herself.
That left Quinn all alone with the voices.
= It's your fault = they accused him.
"No!" Quinn said, "I tried, I really did.... I couldn't find her, I couldn't save her."
= None of this would have happened if it weren't for you =
"I loved her, I didn't do it on purpose!" he argued.
= You've betrayed her. Betrayed her with her DOUBLE!! She is dead because of you, and you've betrayed her!= Images from the night before assailed him.
Wade laying in the alley, his words to her as she fell asleep. He'd called her angel... he'd betrayed his Wade.
"No, we're just friends!" Quinn closed his eyes, but all he could see was his Wade. His Wade smiling, sliding, living along side him. He missed her so much it hurt. The voices were wrong, Wade's double was not a replacement.... he still loved his Wade.
=Then why didn't you TELL her that!=
"I..." he couldnt answer that one. All he knew now was that he didn't want to be without her anymore. He wanted to be with her, and if she was dead, he didn't want her to be alone in that. Slowly he stood, imagining his Wade was standing before him, her hand outstretched, I'll be with you soon... he told her. He went to the desk where the sharp letter opener lay in the drawer, sharp and ready. He picked it up and walked to the bathroom. Looking at himself in the mirror, he saw the man who'd screwed up the lives of so many, just because he didn't know what he was doing. Not anymore. Looking at his wrist, he poised the letter opener and cut.
-----
Wade hurried back to the hotel. She had a terrible feeling in the pit of her stomach. She hadn't wanted to leave Quinn alone, today of all days, but he'd still been asleep along with everyone save Remmy. She'd figured if she ran out and did the errands Remmy had asked her to do early, then Quinn would sleep right through her absence and she could spend the rest of the day with him. But now, as she hurried home, her arms filled with groceries, there was a feeling of dread coursing through her veins. Opening the door, Wade felt a pain assail her, almost as if it were a pungent scent that filled the room. There was a note laying on the table from Maggie, Remmy and Colin, saying they'd gone to the movies, and wanted to meet her and Quinn for lunch. Quinn was alone, Wade realized. She sucked in a breath and looked to the door that led to the guys room. The groceries fell to the floor as she rushed in and saw Quinns bed was empty.
"Quinn!" the bathroom door was half open, and Wade opened it. A half scream escaped her throat as she saw Quinn laying on the floor, still alive, but watching with avid interest as blood flowed from his wrist.
"Wade?" he asked softly. She grabbed one of the towels and held it to his wrist. Luckily he hadn't managed to cut very deep. He was crying, she realized as she looked into his eyes.
"Why?" she asked, without meaning to.
"I miss her," he said, "It's my fault she's dead. She blames me... I failed her." From somewhere with in Wade there sprung a coil of power she had never known to exist. It coursed through her veins and fed her soul, giving her courage and insight. Still pressing the towel to Quinns wrist, she embraced him.
"She does NOT blame you! There was nothing you could do! Quinn, you can't control everything... there are evil people in this multiverse, you can't blame yourself for something the Kromaggs did," Wade said, stroking his hair as she held him to her.
"But I could have tried harder..." Quinn argued, even though he relaxed in Wade's arms.
"No, you did your best... she doesn't blame you," Wade told him.
"I miss her," he admitted, "I wish she were here."
(But I am here!) Wade's heart cried. She forced the thought down. She could never tell Quinn, she understood that now.
"I know," Wade said, near tears herself, "I know, but we need you here...Remmy, Colin, Maggie... they need you... *I* need you." She realized Quinn seemed very limp, and worriedly checked for a pulse. He was still alive, the strain and raw emotion must have gotten to him, for he know slept in her arms, peaceful as a child. Wade laid him back on the rug so she could bandage his wrist, then cleaned the letter opener and waited for the others.
As she sat there next to Quinn, she half expected to dissolve, to turn into a shadow and slink away, to shatter into a millions pieces and be dead again. But she knew what dying felt like, and she was not dying. She looked down at Quinn and kissed his brow, "I did it, Quinn. You'd be so happy if only you knew. But you have to understand I can never tell you. All I can do is give you my love and support... and my friendship. I hope you understand."
------
"He WHAT!!?" Remmy asked as he and Colin moved Quinn to his bed.
"When I came in a found him in the bathroom. He'd slit his wrist. He told me he missed his Wade. He blames himself for her death," Wade informed them.
"I don't believe it," Colin said, shaking his head, "I never thought..."
"The nightmares were the key," Wade said, "I know he didn't want to talk about them, he still doesn't, but my guess is he thought your Wade blamed him for her death."
"You think he's gonna be okay?" Remmy asked. Wade looked at him, wishing for the umpteenth time she could tell him the truth.
"I hope so. He needs our support," she said. Remmy nodded.
"Thanks, sweetheart," he said, using her old pet name. He gave her a quick hug and then followed Colin into the next room. Wade stood in the threshold for a moment, gazing at the sleeping man.
"Good night," she said softly, then pulled the door to and followed the others.
------
"You guys ready?" Quinn asked as he aimed the timer in the air.
"Sure," Maggie said, pulling her coat tight around her body, "I still can't believe San Francisco is so cold here!" Colin looked cold as well as he rubbed his nose.
"Yeah, man," Remmy agreed, "I feel like a popcicle!" Wade laughed lightly as she came to stand beside Quinn.
"May I do the honors?" she asked.
"Of course," he handed her the timer just as it began to beep. Wade aimed it in the air and watched as the beautiful swirl of greens, blues and whites came to life before her eyes.
"Ladies first!" Quinn ushered Wade and Maggie forward. Maggie leapt in, and Wade followed her. All around her she felt the beauty of the colors, the feeling of free fall as she headed towards the point of darkness at the other end. There was a loud sound.... then nothing but bone numbing, skull raking cold.