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Hopeless, Shapeless, Dreamless, Nameless (7/10)
by Meredith Bronwen Mallory
mallorys-girl@cinci.rr.com
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    The sights and sounds of the Zocalo flooded around Erika in a welcoming
wave of simple, everyday life. The Ranger watched everything around her with
intense interest, though it appeared to the average by-stander that she was
concentrating on her breakfast. She was the type of person who, though
beautiful, managed to blend in by using her mannerisms.
"Good morning, Ms. Browning," someone said, pulling out a chair and taking a
seat at her table. She found herself looking into the eyes of one Michael
Garibaldi.
"Good morning, Mr. Garibaldi," Erika said curtly. It wasn't that she didn't
like the man, in fact, she liked him a great deal, he was definitely put
together right, but she was still peeved at being thrown in the brig. The
former Security Chief must have picked up on her mood, for he leaned in
closer and said apologetically;
"Look, I'm real sorry about the whole arrest thing. Around here, people are
a little wary of Psi Corps, Ms. Browning."
"It's Erika," she said smiling, "Ms. Browning is my mother. And I've kind of
got this place figured out by now, thanks."
"Good," Michael said, smiling like an idiot, "good." Erika speared a piece
of 'egg' with her fork, chewed and swallowed. Then she looked up at Michael.
"Something else, Mr. Garibaldi?"
"Michael," he corrected her, "Uh... I was wondering if you'd let me take you
out to dinner. We are semi-civilized around here, I'd like to prove it."
Setting her fork down on her now empty plate, Erika looked him over.

Yes, he was VERY handsome, and, she mentally calculated, it'd been at least
six months since she'd slept with anyone. According to her running record,
she was long overdue.
"Sure thing," she smiled, a devious smile that made people INCREDIBLY
nervous.
"Good," he repeated himself, and her smile grew wider, "see you around
twenty hundred?"
"It's a date," Erika said. He smiled and got up, walking towards the lift
with a visible spring in his step. The Ranger smiled as she watched him go;
he had a nice butt, that was for certain. She sat there, staring into space,
until she realized something, "Clothes!" she exclaimed, moving out of her
chair so fast that she knocked it over, "I need clothes!"  Fishing in her
pocket, she checked her credit account. Erika nodded in satisfaction and
sauntered over to the Galactic Boutique as if she'd hadn't just displayed
exactly HOW neurotic she was.

-----

    "Can I get you a drink?" Marcus asked, moving from the couch, "tea
perhaps?"
"Yes, thank you," Susan said, still slightly uncomfortable, "How did you get
tea all the way out here?"
"Ah, one of the benefits being an ex-Ranger. I still have all my contacts,"
he said distractedly as he moved about in the kitchen. Finished with the
tea, he leaned back against the counter and asked: "So how did you get
assigned here?" It was a question that Susan had been dreading. Deciding to
go with a half truth, she leaned back and studied him.
"My ship was one of the first to join General Hague when he split from Earth
Force. We fought in the war, and when it was over, I got promoted to
Captain, they stationed me here," Susan shrugged it off.
"It can't be THAT simple. Why here? Didn't you want your own ship?" Marcus
asked. Shifting uncomfortably, she looked him in the eye.
"I... lost some one very dear to me. He didn't even know it, either. I wanted
my own ship, but somehow it just seemed wrong," she explained. Oh, how this
reminded her of their little talk on the White Star, when he'd told her
about his 'unicorns'.

    Marcus felt terrible. <You idiot,> he scolded himself, <You just brought
up something painful for her. REAL smooth.>
"I'm sorry, I didn't know," he said, feeling inadequate. The pain in her
bright, blue eyes startled him. He opened his mouth to say something, but
was interrupted by the whistle of the tea pot. The two adults laughed
nervously, and he disappeared behind the counter for a moment, returning
with two mugs. They talked a bit longer, but Marcus felt the tension
increasing with each breath. Closing his eyes, he fought the exhaustion that
had been plaguing him.
"Are you all right?" Susan asked, her voice filled with concern. She laid a
delicate hand on his shoulder.
"I... actually, I haven't had a wink of sleep in two days," he confessed. She
got to her feet immediately.
"Well, why don't you get some rest, after all, you're going in for a scan
tomorrow, aren't you?" she asked.
"Yes, will you be there?" Marcus asked as he showed her to the door.
"Of course," she snapped. He gave her a startled look, and she put a hand to
her mouth and blushed, "I'm sorry, too much caffeine," she laughed
nervously.
"That'll do it for you," he smiled.
"See you tomorrow, Marcus," she smiled, and then she was gone.
"Yes, tomorrow." He was suddenly looking forward to it.

---------------

    Dressed in black, they moved through the passengers of the transport,
aptly named the 'Hunter'. She was tall, with slim, shapely legs and a short
bob of blonde hair that, aside from her curves, was her crowning glory. He
was shorter than she, but managed to look more intimidating, with his
intense gaze and perpetual frown. He motioned for her to follow him as they
waded through the throngs of people, away from the crowd that moved in a
current towards customs.
"Here we are, Ms. Winters," he spoke at last, indicating the entryway marked
'secured personnel only'.
"Well, Mr. Bester?" Talia Winters raised a perfect eyebrow in question, her
beautiful, gem-like blue eyes filled with Arctic cold.
"We can't have security alerting our *dear* Captain and Mr. Cole to our
presence, can we?"
"Of course," she nodded. He slipped a small key card in the slot, and within
minutes, their silent entry to Babylon 5 was assured.
<Now, the fun begins> She thought.

-------------

    Sleep was a fog, receding, burned away by the sun as Erika groped
blindly for wakefulness. There was something warm... holding her close... the
scent of raw humanity released in the darkness... Her eyes flew open.
<Michael> He had pulled her close to him in sleep, his arm curling around
her waist possessively. A smile curled to her lips before she could stop it.
But how could she? Her body was still singing from the experience of loving
him. It'd been so long since anyone had been gentle with her, so long since
anyone had bothered to hold her, tease her, to make sure she was perfectly
ready for them. The man who slept beside her was definitely something
special.

In the darkness of his quarters, Erika recounted the night, imprinting it on
her mind so she would never forget it. Dinner had been perfect, Michael was
ever the gentleman. They'd shared a few laughs, talked like old friends, and
basically enjoyed themselves, a small island of happiness in the middle of a
crisis. Her cocoa eyes narrowed as she remembered what had followed. He'd
invited her back to his quarters, they laughed some more and, after
considerable work on her part, ended up in bed. But she had not been
prepared for the uniqueness of the experience. Since joining the Rangers,
Erika's promiscuity had become something of a legend. She'd been called a
whore, a slut, a bitch and worse, both behind her back and to her face.
But what some people found even more disturbing than the speed at which she
jumped up in (and out) of the sack, was the fact that she didn't care if
they ridiculed her. Though the Rangers obviously did NOT endorse her sexual
escapades, she continued them through out her training, in spite of how
unpopular it made her. But what she supposedly 'lacked' in her 'moral'
values, she made up for on the training field. She kicked ass both with the
pike, and on the air-assault simulators, and it was because of that, that
the teachers and students learned to respect her. Not as a woman, but as a
warrior. Once she'd completed her training, it was easy to find someone in
between missions. There were always randy Earth Force troopers, ready for
shallow sexual adventures.

They could call Erika a slut, or call her a prostitute, but no one would
ever understand exactly *why* she was the way she was. They didn't know,
could never know, exactly how much she'd lost that  hot Martian night in
2258. Disentangling herself from Michael's arms, she crawled to the edge of
the bed and reached for her purse, which lay amongst the strewn articles of
both their clothing. Opening it, she reached inside and pulled out a
picture. A handsome young man with icy blue eyes stared out at her, forever
smiling. At his side was a puppy fat little girl, tan skin and brown eyes
that danced. Flipping it over she read the words again, as she had so many
times in crisis' of faith. Done in red crayon, the large letters of a
child's handwriting stood out:

CHURA LOVES MAMA ERIKA

Next to that, in a man's bold hand, were the words:

    Lucky Pierce and Erika Browning = Our Love is Forever

"Our love is forever," Erika muttered. When Lucky died, it had been all she
could do to pull it together, it'd been just one tragedy after another, down
hill all the way from there. Sex was her way of pushing back the memories,
the more impersonal the better. Not only that, but it reminded her that she
was halfway human, when in her profession she might be keeping the peace one
minute, then up to her hips in blood the next.  But Michael... he'd made her
alive again, when for the longest time she'd been a lump of coal, burning
without knowing why. Instead of the quick, selfish, rough sex she'd
expected, he'd made slow, luxurious love to her, taking only what she gave.
She'd even cried out, something she hadn't done, not since....

    The sleeping man stirred. Reaching for something that obviously wasn't
there, he whimpered slightly when the warm body he'd been expecting failed
to appear. Placing the picture safely pack in her purse, Erika crawled up
and lay down once again, pulling Michael into her arms. As she drifted once
more off to sleep, her tired brain mulled over the most startling piece of
information. As they'd lay in the warm aftermath of their union, Michael had
whispered something to her:
"I can't believe I almost passed up perfection..." She fell asleep with his
name on her lips.