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Hopeless, Shapeless, Dreamless, Nameless (3/?)
by Meredith Bronwen Mallory
mallorys-girl@cinci.rr.com
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    The alarm sounded in the other room, waking Susan Ivanova from a deep,
but sadly, dream filled sleep. For a brief instant, as she struggled towards
awareness, her mind tricked itself into believing that the past two years
hadn't happened. <Such a silly nightmare,> her groggy mind scolded, <nothing
will ever happen to Marcus, he's indestructible.>
"Ma'am?" the voice of her aide, Jaylen, brought it all crashing back down on
her again. Marcus, the machine, his final words... he loved her, but too late!
The curse of Ivanova strikes again! She felt the urge to simply weep, but
the Captain persona pushed it's way to the surface, "Ma'am," Jaylen was
saying, "it might be prudent for you to get up now."
"Go to hell, Jaylen," Susan muttered.
"If you say so, Ma'am," her aide replied with a tone of long suffering.
Fully awake and mad as hell, Susan stalked to the shower and turned on the
cold jets full power. The icy daggers hit her back hard, banishing the last
remnants of sleep. As she reached for the shampoo, Susan regretted the way
she'd treated Jaylen. Her aide was a good kid, prompt, ready and she always
had whatever Ivanova needed. So why lash out at her? Simple, she had been
the closest person at the time. Fresh, hot tears trailed down Susan's cheeks
as her thoughts were dragged, kicking and screaming, back towards Marcus. It
wasn't fair, he'd given her his love, his understanding, and finally, in
desperation, his own life in an attempt to get her to notice him. How did
she repay him? She'd treated him like crap!

    Disgusted with herself, Susan raised the water temperature and forced
herself to concentrate on being strong. She was the wolf, she was
indestructible,  her walls were made of steel and high as heaven. She didn't
need any one, she was the Captain of the whole station and no one would ever
know that underneath her shell, she hide a deep, abiding love for Marcus.
Even in death.

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    Jaylen Kyle set about preparing a quick breakfast for her superior.
Unscathed by the Captain's harsh temper, she whistled as she prepared the
coffee and light toast, occasionally doing a few dance steps as she made her
way around the kitchen. Looking like a butterfly in her light blue robes,
Jaylen set the table and respectfully set her own breakfast on the counter,
so Ivanova could eat in peace. The Captain was normally grumpy at this hour,
and the drinking binge Jaylen's superior had gone on last night didn't help
either. All night long, from her place in the other room, Jaylen had heard
Ivanova moaning in her sleep. The words 'Marcus' and 'no' and 'please don't
leave me' where muttered over and over again as the Captain unsuccessfully
fought her nightmares.
Stifling a yawn, Jaylen jumped as the door chime rang. <Who could be here at
this hour?> she wondered, her hand going to the PPG holstered beneath her
robes.
"Come," Jaylen said cautiously. The door opened to reveal a black uniformed
Psi Cop, her curly bob of dark brown hair framing the painfully familiar
coca eyes. Jaylen's own icy blue eyes narrowed. She whipped out her PPG,
training it on the woman, who entered, leaning against the open door frame,
cocking a perfectly sculpted eyebrow at the young aide.
"Erika Browning," Jaylen's voice was toneless, without inflection.
"Jaylen Kyle, is this anyway to greet a friend?" Erika asked, her voice the
same as Jaylen's.
"Of course not," Jaylen replied evenly. She put the PPG down and ran to the
other woman, flinging her arms around her neck and almost knocking Erika
over, "This is!" Erika hugged her back, and Jaylen let go.
"Great to see 'ya, Jay!" Erika exclaimed, stepping back to take all of
Jaylen in, from her plain, straight, light brown hair, to the set of her
jaw, "You haven't changed a bit."
"Neither have you, Erika. Except the uniform, you into murder and mayhem
now?" Jaylen asked, offering her friend a seat on the couch.
"Not really, just as an undercover," Erika said, leaning back, "Actually,
I'm here to see the Captain."
"Really, and who would you be?" Both women looked up to see the Captain
herself, standing, Jaylen's PPG in hand, aimed at Erika.