Mehg's AN: L* Baka's off to save his beloved Artemis...  *Glances at scene 
unfolding in living room... you gotta wonder how he could be friends with 
these people... *shakes head* Hee... we're going to write more tonight but 
we're not sending till later!!  :)  Just curious... but is there someone 
that would like to figure out all the movies we've spoofed???  I'm just 
wondering if there's someone that could pick them all out...


Baka's AN:  Baka, aka TLP, is happy to be working on this fic ^_^  No, 
really!  I'm having a blast.  And guess what?  *motions for list to come 
closer*  IT'S ALMOST DONE!!!  Well... now that you are all tone death...  
Guess what?  This fic (or, at least my part) is dedicated to the 
not-so-friendly staff at my grocery store which I happen to be quitting 
tomorrow ^_^  OH!  But that's not all -- tomorrow is AWESOME!  You won't 
believe all the cool things that are going to happen, so I won't bother 
filling in all the details... OH!! AND GUESS WHAT?!  I caught that BAKA 
vegetarian today that has been writing on the stalls!  But that's another 
story ^_^



Urban Legend Part 3/4 + possible epilogue + possibly more parts
PG
By The Lone Pig and Mehgth
thelonepig@hotmail.com
hime_serenity_chan@hotmail.com


"Who turned on the TV?" hesitated Haruka, who had already begun to venture 
down the stairs.  Michiru glided closely by her.

The company pulled in closely behind Haruka and Michiru.  In single file 
line, everyone gripping the person's shoulder in front of him or her, they 
made their way to the television.

The fluorescent glow of the television screen illuminated the room to some 
slight degree.  There was some sort of infommercial blaring on the box.

"Do you suffer from paranoia?  Do you have experience with the paranormal?  
Have you seen ghosts?  If so, call us..."

Four men in grey jumpsuits posed on the screen.  "GHOSTBUSTERS!"

"That's it!" shouted Usagi.  "Let's call them!  They can help us!"

Usagi jumped to a table and pulled out a sheet of paper.  She started 
fumbling around for a pen.

"Pen... pen!  Where's a pen when you need one!"

The infommercial continued onward, unaware of the predicament found within 
the Tsukino home.  "The number is 555-5555... once again, 555-5555."

Criminologist:  And thus the number was fives and fives were all that were 
in the number.  Seven fives was the number.  Five, the number after four and 
before six.  The fourth prime number.  And that was the number.

"Where's a pen!" screamed Usagi.  She cheered triumphantly as she held up a 
pencil.  She began scrawling the number on the paper and calling out the 
number as she did so.  "Five, five, five..."  The pencil lead snapped.  
"DAME DA!!!"

Usagi scrambled through the drawer again.  She pushed aside a stack of 
papers and uncovered a pen, which she grabbed.  Usagi looked at the 
television screen just as the number faded.

"DAME!" she shouted.  "What was the number?"

Everyone looked around nervously.  Mamoru shrugged.  "I don't think any of 
us were paying attention Usako..."

"None of you were paying attention?" screamed Usagi.  "We're lost in my own 
house and now you forgot the darn phone number!"

"Don't go blaming this on me," replied Mamoru, pointing a finger to Usagi.  
"You're the one that started this whole thing.  It was all your idea!"

"My idea?"  Usagi started, before being rudely interrupted.

Michiru screamed.  "Where's Haruka!?  She was right here!  Where'd she go?!"

Everyone glanced nervously around the darkening room.  An evil booming voice 
echoed throughout the room.  "That's a good question... isn't it?  And then 
there were four..."  Maniacal laughter pierced their eardrums and a muffled 
scream was heard beneath the racket.

Everyone began yelling at once.  "MICHIRU!"  Usagi screamed.  As hinted by 
Usagi's distressing call, sure enough Michiru had disappeared.

"NO!  NO MORE!  I'VE HAD ENOUGH!  WHOEVER YOU ARE... SHOW YOURSELF!  BRING 
MY FRIENDS BACK!  Onegai... bring them back..."  she collapsed to the floor 
in a crumpled heap, sobbing.

Mamoru moved to his beloved and cradled her in his arms.  "Shh... Usako... 
we'll figure all this out... and I swear we'll save everyone!"

Usagi tearfully looked up at the eyes of her soulmate.  "OH MAMO-CHAN!"
Mulder coughed.  Scully sighed.  Mulder turned to Scully and grinned.  
Scully glared at him menacingly and then turned towards the basement.  
"Perhaps we can discover some clues from the mess downstairs..."

She coughed politely and cleared her throat.  "The circumstances are very 
unclear at the moment.  But I'm sure that there is a perfectly logical 
explanation for all this.  I found a bit of evidence in the basement.  I 
would like to examine it with Agent Mulder's help."

Mamoru's eyes widened.  He had noticed her poking around earlier.  Better 
not to let Usako see.  "Hai.  I'll stay here and protect Usako!  Be careful 
Agent Scully."  He nodded towards her with a comforting smile, and 
completely ignored Mulder.

Mulder and Scully walked down the stairs.  Mamoru hugged Usagi to him and 
stared into the darkness.

"Don't worry Usako.  I promise everything will be alright."

"Oh, Mamo-chan..." sobbed Usagi.

Suddenly a familiar telephone booth appeared out of nowhere.

Two disgruntled scantily clad women stepped from the folding doors of the 
glass booth.  The one with blue-tinted, silver hair bowed low and introduced 
herself.  "Nice to meet you.  I am Sailor Aluminum Siren of the Sailor 
Animamates."

The auburn haired dominatrix stepped beside her.  "Baka... you don't need to 
introduce yourself!  It's not like we want to be friends with them or 
anything!"

Confused, Siren looked at Crow.  "Demo, my mama always taught me to use 
polite manners..."

Crow looked at her in disbelief.  She sighed, "Can you really be my former 
rival?"

"Ne ne!  Demo, we died Crow-san!"  She looked at Crow once more, a confused 
expression pasted her complexion.

"Hai... oh well back to business!"  Crow turned to Usagi and Mamoru.  She 
posed.  Siren copied her like a monkey and spoke menacingly.  "Eternal 
Sailor Moon.  We know what you did last summer..."

Usagi blanched.  She lifted her fingers and counted off the things she'd 
done, "Let's see... I made friends with Seiya-kun, I didn't study very much, 
I ate lots of sweets, I barely passed my classes... Oh yeah!  I also 
defeated you!"  She looked up.  "What are you doing back here?"

"WE know what you did last summer!  We will be avenged!"

"Nani?"  Usagi looked confused then noticed that Mamoru was reaching into 
the breast-pocket of this green jacket.  She looked to him determinedly and 
called out her henshin.  (AN:  I, the baka... er TLP, believe that this 
phrase sounds dirty...)  "MOON ETERNAL MAKE UP!"

Upon hearing the commotion, Mulder crept up the stairs and peeked out the 
door.  "WOW! This is better than playboy!"

He watched as Usagi's nude body was draped in feathered wings.  Drool 
escaped from his lips as she lifted her hands in the air and a skin-tight 
leotard covered her.  A multicolored pleated skirt, so short, so nice, 
displaying her long shapely legs completed the outfit.

"Oh man if I only caught that on film!"  Mulder watched in awe as white 
gauntlets covered her arms and feathered wings sprouted from her back.  "If 
only the Victoria Secret ads had women like this!"

Mamoru turned around.  Had he heard something?  Oh well.  He pulled out a 
red rose from his pocket and transformed into his traditonal tuxedo and 
cape.  Mulder turned away wildly.

"Couldn't you get a room?! I did not want to see that!  On the other hand, I 
wouldn't mind seeing hers again..."  A grin spread from ear to ear.  He 
looked past Eternal Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Kamen and caught sight of their 
foes.  He blinked twice and rubbed his eyes.  "Such... little... 
clothing..." he drooled.

He stood upright, then fell backwards down the stairs.

Scully looked up from her task.  "Oh Mulder there you are.  I think you 
should have a look at this."  She gestured to the inside of the washer.  
Mulder painfully rose and then dutifully trotted towards the washer.  He 
peered over the edge then jumped back violently.

"You know you could have told me what it was!"

"Sorry about that.  I thought it was more of a surprise this way.  From the 
way it looks an axe had to be the weapon.  Unfortunately, that doesn't 
explain the bruises..."  Scully muttered to herself here and there and 
didn't notice as Mulder crept back up the stairs, a wild grin splayed across 
his face.

..."Silver Moon Crystal Power Kiss!" shouted Usagi as her staff illuminated 
the room with energy.  The energy consumed and obliterated Aluminum Siren 
and Lead Crow for the second time that week.

"It's not fair!  Why didn't we have our powers?!"  *Blip*  (AN:  Mehg says 
it's a "cool sound"... personally, it bothers me)  They disappeared as the 
light faded from the room.  Eternal Sailor Moon sighed in relief.  Tuxedo 
Kamen looked devastated.  When he had his star seed taken... Usagi had been 
left to them?  He pulled Usagi -- erm Eternal Sailor Moon to him and held 
her close.

"Usako-- I'm so-"

"Shhh... Mamo-chan... no harm done, ne?"  She smiled up at him and 
detransformed (AN:  de-henshined?).  Mamoru did so as well, noting a very 
disturbed look on Mulder's face on the other end of the room.

Mamoru grinned at Usagi and strode towards Mulder.

"You get an eyefull?" inquired Mamoru.

Mulder grinned and drooled.  "I thought she was just a little girl, but 
now..."  He rubbed his hands with glee as his eyes strayed towards Usagi.

Mamoru looked back at his girlfriend and smiled.  Gesturing towards Mulder, 
he said "He thinks you're cute.  Isn't that nice?"  Mamoru turned around and 
hit Mulder square in the face, sending him reeling to the floor.

Mulder stood and wiped a trail of blood from his mouth just in time to get a 
quick slap to the face from a very upset Usagi.  "That's for seeing my 
henshin!"

"Hehehe," laughed Mulder, holding his stinging cheek.  "It was worth it..."

The grin was once again knocked from his face as Mamoru knocked the wind out 
of the agitating pervert.  Mulder tried vainly to catch his breath as he 
stumbled into the kitchen.  Mamoru followed him in.

"I'm sick of your attitude.  You are a womanizing pervert that cares nothing 
for what is inside.  My Usako is much more beautiful than you could ever 
know.  People like you give men like me a bad name!"

Mulder fumbled for something to defend himself with.  His hand gripped a 
drawer knob.  He yanked on the drawer, sending the contents all over the 
floor.  Stooping, Mulder caught hold of a butcher's cleaver.  He pointed it 
at Mamoru.

"Now we'll settle this pretty boy!  You've been on my case since this whole 
thing began."  Mulder's eyes glazed over as he handled the cleaver's wooden 
grip.

"Ack!  Mamo-chan, look out!" pointed Usagi.  "He has a knife!"

Mamoru sweatdropped.  "Hai Usako, I kinda gathered!"

He reached down and gripped the first kitchen utensil that his hand came in 
contact with.  Mulder charged in and swung at Mamoru, who swiftly parried 
with his impliment.

Mamoru's eyes widened.  "A LADLE?!"  He looked at Usagi.  "Why do you have a 
ladle in your knife drawer?!"

Usagi shrugged.  "Chibi-Usa put the dishes away last.  ACK!  MAMO-CHAN, LOOK 
OUT!"

Mamoru jumped back just in time to miss being cut neatly in two.  Mamoru 
shouted.  "I'll never let you touch my Usako!"  He lunged for Mulder, who 
blocked the ladle and swung again at Mamoru's knee.  Mamoru jumped onto the 
kitchen counter.  The two men fenced and parried about the room.  It seemed 
to Usagi that both men were evenly matched, neither having an advantage over 
the other.

Retrieving a spatula from the floor, Usagi crept up behind Mulder and beat 
him across the back with it.  "You let my Mamo-chan go!"

Mulder spun around and grabbed Usagi's wrist.  Usagi squirmed and struggled. 
  "Oh you're so cute when you try to get away.  I love it when girls get so 
fiesty--"

Mamoru saw red.  He slammed the ladle over Mulder's head, resulting in 
breaking the handle in half.  Mulder's eyes rolled back and he collapsed to 
the floor.  The last words to escape his lips were "Shana... I loved you."  
Usagi dropped her 'weapon' and ran to Mamoru.

"Oh Mamo-chan I was so scared!"

A scream was heard from downstairs!

"Mamo-chan what was that?"

Mamoru tried to conceal his concern.  "Didn't Agent Scully go downstairs?"

Usagi's hands flew up to her face.  "Oh no!"

To be continued...