EMSiT PRODUCTIONS PROUDLY PRESENTS:
It's Not Easy Being Green
by: Sailor Elysia and Quicksilver
ely_chan@yahoo.com & mbsilvana@yahoo.com
Rated PG-13
Disclaimer: This is in answer to a challenge from Aino Minako herself!
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/smrff/message/18312 has the challenge,
and we're SURE you'll get a laugh out of this!   Aside from that,
Sailor Moon is not owned by us.



	Chiba Mamoru was one of those thankfully rare individuals who required
no more then four hours of sleep. It was nice, in a way- he always had
extra time to do his homework, maintain his plants, work out, and, in
general, work towards being a perfect person. It drove Motoki
absolutely crazy, but that had never bothered Mamoru.
	He wasn't able to understand exactly how his beloved Usako could spend
so much time sleeping- she slept at LEAST twice as much as he did, and
that was a conservative estimate. If she hadn't looked so cute while
she slept, he might had actually minded.
	So when the bell rang at eleven on a Saturday night, he wasn't
expecting her. True, it was a weekend, but she had never let that
bother her before. She always claimed she had to catch up on sleep
whenever she could, since she had no idea when some kind of
creepy-crawly would crawl out of the woodwork.
	Not paying attention to the door left ajar, he took her by the hand,
led her over to the couch and gently sat her down. "Usako, what's
wrong? Please, don't hold it in. You can tell me."
	"Usako?" Mamoru asked incredulously, thoroughly surprised to see her
at the door so late. He thought she was spending the night with the
girls like they usually did on weekends during the summer.
	Usagi entered the apartment without saying a word, which he thought
strange. Something must have happened. He'd never seen her this serious
before.
	Usagi looked up at him, her eyes sparkling pools of sapphire. She
lifted a delicate hand and began to trace intricate patterns on his
chest. "U-usako!" he stuttered.
	"I was lonely,Ó she said.

****

	Mercury looked at Venus, extremely unhappy about her roles for this.
"This is so unworthy of us," she said. "Luna and Artemis would pitch a
fit. We shouldn't be using our powers like this."
	"Lighten up, Ami!" Minako encouraged her friend. 
	"We'll be in and out of there before Mamoru even notices us." She
peeked around the corner. "Besides, Usagi seems to be doing a good job
of distracting him," she giggled. "And we thought she was so against
this."
	Ami rolled her eyes. She couldn't believe she was actually a part of
this. Oh well, anything was better than getting conned into another
striptease. "Fine. Here's the formula. All you have to do is pour it
into the shampoo and everything will proceed from there."
	Minako took the bottle into her hands, sniffed at it and wrinkled her
nose. "What's that smell?"
	"I had to counteract the aroma of the formula with some extra-strong
scents. Hopefully he won't notice the difference. Now get it in there
before Usagi loses her touch!"
	The senshi of love nearly burst out laughing. "It'll be a long time
before that happens."
	"And touching she is!" Jupiter said, peeping around the door. Her face
was bright and flushed, but her green eyes were glittering with an evil
light. 
	"Isn't she?" Rei said, sounding impressed. Transforming into Mars had
shaken her brain cells up enough so she was almost back to normal.
	"I still don't see why you insisted we change!" Ami protested. "If
anyone sees the Senshi hanging around an apartment building, they're
going to start asking questions! This-"
	She was interrupted by the sound of the elevator. "Quick! Someone's
coming!"

***

	"Usako..." Mamoru mumbled, trying to catch his breath, "as much as I
like this and don't want you to stop, this doesn't answer my question.
Why were you lonely? I thought you were with the girls tonight."
	Everything had been going so well up to that point, and darn it, she
was actually starting to enjoy herself. She pouted. "I was with them,
but suddenly I started missing you and I wanted to be with you. Don't
you want me here?"
	Mamoru's eyes widened. "Of-of course I do, Usako. You just had me
worried there for a while. Are you sure you're going to be okay?" She
nodded. "Now that I'm here with you and you want me, that's all that
matters!" Giggling, she launched herself at Mamoru again, glad that he
had his back to the door. She started kissing him deeply, and out of
the corner of her eye she noticed a flash of orange whip into the
bathroom and 30 seconds later zoom back out. She let out a deep sigh,
turning all her concentration back to her love.
	However, Mamoru had noticed something as well. He broke the kiss off,
looking worried. "I wonder what--"
	This was no time for cowardice! Usagi thought to herself. Desperately
she grabbed his face in her hands and gave him the kiss of a lifetime
-- or two, considering this far outshone any that they had shared
before.
	Usagi's warm lips were gentle, yet hungry at the same time, demanding
as much as they gave. It was a series of kisses that all melted
together so Mamoru's head started to spin. Some of them were light as a
butterfly's wings, while others were long, deep consuming explorations
of the soul. Time lost all meaning as they lost themselves in each
other.

***

	Ami was beyond unhappy. She had just played a rather nasty practical
joke on one of her good friends, left another friend in a rather
dangerous position (once Mamoru found out what Usagi was up to -- and
he would find out -- he would be MOST displeased with her), and now she
was sitting in the middle of a dumpster, a banana peel clinging to her
shoulder.
	"I can't BELIEVE you guys made me jump out the window!" she exclaimed
unhappily.
	Mars grimaced as she tried to wipe some coffee grinds out of her
fuku's shoulder. "Well, we couldn't have anyone finding us, and how
were we to know that the security guard would be making his rounds?"
	Jupiter had fared the worst, as she had landed in what probably once
was someone's science project. A green mold (one that DIDN'T match her
skirt) coated her body, and her hair was stained in it. "If we hadn't
been transformed, that fall would have killed us, so I guess it was a
good thing we were."
	"If we hadn't been transformed, this wouldn't have been a problem!"
Ami said rather bitterly.
	"Now, now, all's nice ends good," Minako said.
	The fact that Ami didn't bother to correct Venus was a sign of how
frustrated she was. "My question is, what do we do now? Do you know
what it would do to the senshi's reputation if people saw us looking
like this?"
	Makoto shrugged. "I don't really care. Now we just have to get out of
here... should we collect Usagi first?"
	Rei grinned evilly. "Nahhhhhh. It looks like she's having too much fun
to me."

***

	Usagi, however, was not exactly having fun.  She was too nervous to
enjoy kissing Mamoru, and her eyes kept darting around the room,
wondering if they were done yet. She THOUGHT she had seen Minako come
and go, but it could just be wishful thinking on her part.
	So she kept kissing him. 
	It was like kissing a dead fish.
	Not surprisingly, Mamoru was too dense to pay attention by this point.
He had a one-track mind, and his train of thought was headed in a
one-way direction. 
	Usagi could do wonders to his infamous honorable intentions; even
throw them right out the window without him noticing. Such was the case
tonight as the two of them sat on the couch, literally engulfed in each
other.
	But then MamoruÕs red flag shot up.
	No, the OTHER red flag.
	Before you could say Òwhat the--?Ó he was up and off the couch,
running for the other room, mumbling something about a cold shower.
	"Wait, Mamo-chan!" Usagi called, following him as quick as her tiny
little feet could carry her. Of course, in this situation, Murphy's Law
kicked in and she had one of her infamous klutz attacks. 
	One minute they were darting towards the bathroom; the next they were
on the floor together, tangled limbs askew. "Oh... my head," Usagi
moaned. 
	Mamoru rubbed the back of his head, wondering how Usagi had managed it
this time. No matter WHAT they were doing, if there were a way to klutz
out, Usagi would find it.
	"What are you DOING?" he asked, feeling his temperature rise at her
touch.  She was wearing an amazingly short skirt that made her legs
look like they would go on forever, definitely not something that
helped his very healthy young adult libido.
	"I don't want you to leave me," she whispered softly, pouting firm
lips at him.
	Mamoru groaned, feeling that last little bit of self-control play
tug-of-war within him. It would be VERY easy for him to comply with
UsagiÕs wishesÉ too easy. Which was his best and only reasoning for
leaving the room at that moment.
	ÒUsakoÉÓ he began, not really knowing how to get out of this one. ÒI
donÕt mind that you want to stay with me, but--Ó
	ÒSugoi!Ó she squealed loudly, pouncing onto Mamoru without bothering
to untangle her legs from his first. What resulted was a very loud--
	THUD!
	ÒMamo-chan? Daijobu?Ó
	This just wasn't his day. Luckily the unexpected whack had done enough
to straighten his thinking out. "Usagi, it's after midnight; I'm going
to have a cold shower, then go to sleep.   By the time I get out of the
bathroom, be ready for me to walk you home."
	She looked at him, and laughed nervously. "Oh, that won't be
necessary!" she foretold. "I got here on my own! Besides, I'm spending
the night at Rei-chan's house," she informed him blithely. Usually that
would have set off warning bells, but his head was throbbing too much
for him to think clearly. "Have fun."
	"I will!" She kissed him chastely on the cheek and was out of the
door, double-time. If it hadn't been for his rapidly bruising forehead,
he would have thought she had been a product of wishful thinking.
	Moving his hand to his mouth, Mamoru was shocked to find one of his
teeth missing, and until that moment, there had been no pain. Thank
goodness Usagi wasn't here to see this, or else she might have tried to
do something to make up for it -- ultimately making it worse. He loved
his little bunny dearly, but she also had a habit of making situations
turn out worse. Not as bad as Minako, but close enough. He sighed, made
a mental note to arrange to visit the dentist as soon as possible, and
went for the shower.

****
	"Are you happy now?" Usagi demanded of Rei. The miko laughed. "I just
wish I could see his expression when he figures out what we did!"
	"He's not going to talk to me for a WEEK!" Usagi wailed unhappily.
	"Uh-huh. Don't expect me to believe that! After that nice little show
you put on for him, I highly doubt that Mamoru-san is going to try to
avoid you. Not even he can withstand 'the feminine touch," Rei laughed,
sounding suspiciously like a hyena.
	Usagi gasped. "Rei-chan no ECCHI!"
	Rei kept on laughing, turning heads with her obnoxious giggling.
"Well, it's true! You keep this up and it won't be long before you'll
find yourself fighting off evil and a husband."
	Usagi stuck her tongue out at the raven-haired girl. "I have to make
things right with Mamo-chan. Tell the others I'll meet them later." She
ran back the way they had come, leaving a giggling Rei in the middle of
the sidewalk.
	If I hurry, maybe I can get there before he shampoos his hair, Usagi
thought.  She took the stairs three at a time as she raced, relieved
that her senshi training gave her stamina. A few years ago, she would
have collapsed around the fifth landing. 
	She reached the apartment door. Usagi reached for the key she wore
around her neck on a necklace (there was no way she'd EVER tell her
father that she had it) and carefully fitted it in the keyhole.  
	A scream came from Mamoru's bedroom, and she winced. ÔUh-oh,Õ she
thought. ÔI'm so dead.Õ
	"Mamo-chan?" Usagi called out nervously, bracing herself for the
moment of truth. Tiptoeing down the hallway, she stood at the bedroom
door, which was slightly ajar. She placed her hand on the knob and
pushed it open, making sure Mamoru wasn't running around in panic. 
	He wasn't thank goodness, but Usagi caught a glimpse of his reflection
in the bathroom mirror. "Mamo-chan?" she called out again, "are you
decent?" Her only answer was a muffled grunt, so she crept closer to
the bathroom. Standing in the doorway, Usagi found Mamoru hunched over
the sink, staring in wonder at his now-green hair.
	Usagi bit her lip, trying to hold back her giggles. Minako had really
done it this time.  "At least it matches your jacket," she said, trying
to put a positive spin on it.
	"Usagi..." he growled, and she flinched. He'd used her real name...
this was worse then she thought.
	"Hai, Mamo-chan?" she asked, giving him her best
"I'm-so-cute-you-love-me-and-hurting-me-would-be-a-bad-idea-since-I'm-your-princess,"
look.
	"I KNOW you didn't do this yourself since you never went into my
bathroom by yourself since I last showered. My question is who, how,
and where they are right now so I can kill them."
	Usagi backed away slowly as Mamoru stalked closer and closer to her.
"Ma-maybe there was something wrong with the shampoo," she stuttered.
He raised an eyebrow and finally cornered Usagi, her back up against
the closed door. "How would you know that this came from the shampoo?
It could have been anything..." She gulped, knowing she had just given
herself away. Making one last attempt to save herself, she grabbed the
shampoo bottle and started reading the label.
	With a slight smile she looked up at Mamoru, leaned up and gave him a
quick kiss. "I bet you didn't follow the instructions. It says to
shampoo, rinse, and repeat. Always repeat."

THE END!


It's not eas-y be-in' green,
Hav-ing to spend each day the
Col-our - of the leaves,
When I think it could be nic-er
Be-in' red, or yell-ow, or gold,
Or some-thing much more col-our-ful like that.

t's not eas-y be-in' green,
It seems you blend in with
So man-y oth-er or-di-nar-y things,
And peo-ple tend to pass you ov-er,
'Cause you're not stand-ing out like flash-y
Spark-les on the wat-er or stars in the sky.

But green's the col-our of spring,
And green can be cool and friend-ly -like,
And green can be big like a moun-tain
Or im-port-ant like a riv-er or tall like a tree.

When green is all there is to be,
It could make you won-der why,
But why won-der, why won-der?
I'm green and it 'll do fine, it's beau-ti-ful
And I think it's what I wan-na be.